Tome Tudo de Mim (Take All of Me)

Tome tudo de mim, (Take all of me) I wrote this phrase about 20 years ago. Tome tudo de mim, (Take all of me) I wrote this song about 20 years ago. I came across it quite by accident recently on YouTube of all places! It stirred a bunch of “stuff" for me. 

Immediately, I felt humbled and grateful. Over 24,000 views. I just thought to myself, “Wow. Jesus, what an amazing privilege. If something that came from such a low point in my life could possibly lift, comfort, resonate or release even just a few of these people, what an amazing honor to do it with You.”  

You see, Tome tudo de mim (take all of me) was a last ditch effort. When I wrote this phrase, when I wrote this song, I had nothing left.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

I was “green” in so many ways. New to marriage, new to Brazil, new to Portuguese, new to my husband’s family, new to a church, new to friends, far from everything that was familiar or that could possibly bring a sense of normalcy or comfort. I was lonely, homesick, “thin-souled", and wondering if I had made the right decisions. I was desperate however, because they had already been made. There I was.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

I had learned quite a bit of Portuguese in the first six months I was in Brazil before getting married. I spent a lot of time studying and listening. Vocabulary lists were my best friends. Due to understanding being the first step in learning a new language and speaking coming after, many people didn’t know that I understood as much as I did. It’s interesting to hear what people say about you when they think you don’t understand what they are saying.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

After the first six months, I had to go back to the US. The plan was preparation for our wedding there. Before I left, I had made it clear that I would not be coming back to Brazil. If Paulo wanted to get married, I would marry him but only if we lived in the US. I would even consider going back for a short time, but residency was a “no-go” for me.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

Paulo came to the States. We almost didn’t get married, but that is a story for another time. We came back to Brazil and I was miserable. Not only that, I had lost all of the Portuguese I had learned and I had unconsciously created a mental block in which assimilating any of the language was painfully slow and unfruitful.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

After a time, Paulo had considered sending me back to the States for fear that my life would be ruined for good. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t make myself change. I couldn’t release my pain and it had ensnared me. I was paralyzed emotionally, mentally and spiritually. There was nothing else to be done.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

I was alone in our small apartment in Bauru. The sun had gone to bed. Paulo was at school. It was just me and my situation. I was home a lot in those days. It was me, Vale a pena ver de novo, (an afternoon TV session of reruns),  Luana from Rei do Gado, Fantasia no Ar, Carla Perez. For those that don't know what I am talking about, it was fill the "airwaves" with anything and everything type TV. For those that do know what I am talking about. You know. You definitely know.

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

It was quiet. I was alone. I was hopeless. I got out my guitar and as an "I am at the end of my rope” plea, I prayed-sang, “ Tome tudo de mim.”, in Portuguese, no translation. I couldn’t find the strength, energy, will to surrender. I was at the end of myself after trying so hard to make myself change. 

Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me) 

I just needed for Jesus to come in and take it. Take all of me, don’t give a me a choice, don’t ask me to do it. I can’t. Just take all of me. It was a guttural cry from my innermost being and surprisingly to me, it came out in Portuguese, as did the rest of the prayer-song.

This song became a safe place. I found Surrender when I sang it, when I played it, when I remembered it in my despair. My situation took a long time to change, but Surrender became more tangible when I would utter it. Tome tudo de mim. (Take all of me)

Isn’t Jesus beautiful? Isn’t He surprising? It could only be Him. Only He would use the very “thing” that I had shut myself off to, in order to bring me back to the place I needed to be. Bring me back to life.

I have found myself in this “place” of coming to the end of myself, many times over the last 20 years. I know this will be the case until I see Him face-to-face. Coming across this prayer-song again after so many years would normally make me embarrassed or uncomfortable. Astonishingly, I am not either, so much so that I am writing about it.

No, I am grateful. I am amazed. I am humbled. I am reminded of that which brings me Hope. In this season, I pray-sing it again because it’s just as true now as it was 20 years ago. 

"Tome tudo de mim, Só você Senhor, pode encher meu coração. Só você dá razão pra viver. Não quero mais viver só pra mim. Mais de Você, menos de mim.”

“Take all of me. You alone Lord can fill my heart. Only You give reason for life. I don’t want to live for me anymore. More of You, less of me.” 

May He continue to find us, wherever we are, untangle our hearts although our situations may take time to change or not change at all this side of Heaven. May we find freedom to surrender in order to meet Peace, face-to face.