You Don't Know You What Until You What?! Lack.

I am about to write something really profound and deep right now, are you ready? You

don’t know lack until you are lacking. Or, you don’t know how lack effects you until you lack. Wow! I know, right?! Mind blown. Ha! 

But, seriously, it’s true. Let’s be honest, how many of us actually know what our thyroid does? Why did God when He created men and women say, “Yes, the thyroid is important, we should definitely put that in there!” Well friends, now I know, and I know its’ lack.

So, let me begin by saying, if you haven’t thanked the Creator for this beautiful, functional and wonderfully made “machine" we call a body, please take a moment and give thanks!  Moreover specifically, you lucky people that still have a thyroid, take a moment and give thanks for such a small gland with such a large impact!

As it turns out friends, the tumor on my thyroid was confirmed cancer. God is still good. He is faithful. I am grateful it was caught early and He truly is the God of the 95%. If you aren’t sure what that means, you can read my last post if you like. 

However, the diagnosis means for me and family that we must continue to wait and so, we are waiting. Daily life and routine waits for no one, and we have come to a place where we must manage one day at a time and sometimes even moment to moment depending on what is going on in a busy schedule.

I am just shy of one month out from surgery.  When you have a complete thyroidectomy, it takes between 10 to 15 days for your body to realize that your thyroid is no longer with you. Side effects from the lack of hormones becomes increasingly prevalent. I am not currently able to replace what is lacking due to further exams that are necessary for treatment. 

I won’t go into a lot of detail as to not bore you, but your thyroid manages your metabolic and cardiovascular systems as well as other functions. Side effects due to the lack of these hormones can vary from extreme lethargy, swelling, temperature sensitivity, mood swings to blurry vision. It can be quite a roller coaster and not the fun kind.

This waiting time continues to challenge me to pursue how to wait well. Especially because those that I love the most, my husband and my daughter who are with me day in and day out see it all, experience it all and pay the cost with me. Please, if you remember anything from what I have written, please pray for them today, they are in the trenches with me and need grace and mercy for the journey.

As I have been processing all of this with the Lord it occurred to me that until a month ago, I didn’t know what it was like to sing, speak, yawn or swallow without a thyroid. Until last year, I had never researched thyroid function. Further, I read about the side effects of a thyroidectomy but, I didn’t know practically what side effects would come about because frankly, I wasn’t lacking. 

However, now I am. I am severely lacking. It effects my day to day, moment to moment, those I love most, my plans for the next few months and ultimately, this will effect the rest of my days. Again, not victimizing myself, no drama here, just a reality check. It is and it will effect me until I am on the other side of Eternity and made whole again. God is Hope!

So here it is, that profound phrase again, “You don’t know lack until you are lacking.” However, you also don’t know the extent to which God sustains and provides until you experience what you yourself cannot provide. I have never been more convinced of this until now. It’s not to say I haven’t experienced lack. Lord knows, I have. 

Stay with me, you see in the current situation, I have no control. I cannot “do" anything. There is no other doctor, no other resource, no medicine, no “other way” to move around my current obstacle that hormones are lacking in my body and responsibly, I must wait. My current breath prayer is, “Holy Spirit, you are my hormones.” How many times have I ever needed to pray that in my life up until this moment? Honestly, never. But now, it’s my breath prayer because it is true! Now I boldly ask Holy Spirit daily, to be what I cannot myself provide.

But, let’s be honest here! Isn’t that how it should ALWAYS be for EVERYTHING? Shouldn’t dependence on Him permeate all that we are, all that we say and all that we do? Shouldn’t that kind of dependence be His mark on our lives so, that when people know us, look at us, they see the goodness, the mercy and love of Holy Spirit providing for all that is needed to “do this life well”? I don’t want to live any other way, I don’t want to live thinking that for one moment, I can do this thing called life, by myself. It’s simply not true.

I hope this encourages you today friends, no matter what you are experiencing in lack, you can experience the extent to which God will go to provide what you yourself cannot provide. May that Truth being practiced in us cause Hope and Trust to bubble up and overflow to touch the lives of those around us who might not even know what they are lacking but, more than ever need to experience true Provision. Amen!