Lenten Season 2011 - Faith

My brother-in-law on my husband's side is here visiting from Brazil. It's been good to have him in our home. We played Wii Party. It was some guess-what-someone-else-in-the-room-might-answer-to-a-specific-question type game. When it was my turn, both my husband and my brother-in-law guessed pretty perfectly the answers that I would had chosen. My thought, "Am I that predictable?". It even came up in the game banter that I am "rational". It's true, I won't deny it and for all the other "rational" or logical people out there, can I get a "hey yeah!"?

For us "rationals" sometimes faith can make all the sense in the world and sometimes none at all and sometimes seem so far outside the scope of possible, helplessness can settle in, especially when trying to make "right" decisions or answer hard questions... "What am I to do?", "Where am I to go?", "How am I to serve?" "Will things get better?", "Will I be healthy again?" Granted, I know it's not just for those that are rational, everyone struggles with believing something that cannot seen... but for those of us that struggle with over-thinking, faith is just... hard sometimes.

I was reading in my devotional the other day and the text was about faith (actually faith has been popping up quite a bit lately and I try to take notice as God might be trying to teach me something) this is what it said:

"Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason—a life of knowing Him who calls us to go. Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world." (My Utmost for His Highest)

I love it when my human rationality is trumped by God's simple Truth that while utterly supernatural makes so much sense! It's so easy to say, "Yes, I believe." and then try to find the formula for what it takes to believe... as though there was a 12-step program to follow and at the end you'll be free to believe completely. There isn't and it just doesn't work that way.

Faith is as delicate and vital as relationship. Faith serves one purpose, to bring us into intimate relationship with God himself, everything else: questions, answers, miracles, direction, fulfillment, success or not is mere consequence.

I'm thankful for the reminder that I don't need to muster faith, produce belief or drown in analyzing situations, in feeble attempts to lead my own life... I just need to focus on knowing and loving the One who knows all, sees all and who wants to lead me... it's so logical!

Lenten Season 2011 - The Past is in the Past

You don't need to look very far to see that the world is making history in the times that we live in. From civilian and military uprisings to governmental collapses, flooding and earthquakes we are experiencing monumental events at break neck speed.

But, as I reflect on the past few days in conversation with others it never ceases to amaze me how much time we spend living in the past. Ever heard the phrase, "the past is in the past"? I have. Many times. I'm sure I've even said it in an attempt to encourage someone to move on and embrace their future. It's difficult to live sometimes, don't you agree? The replay of events, conversations, situations that have maimed, stolen and fed lies to us is most difficult to turn off.

It makes me wonder... what if Jesus lived in the past? Now... I'm not trying to be irreverent and I know that time isn't an issue with and eternal God... but humor me for a second and place all of those things that we know about Jesus and the time, "up and to the right", as a wise friend of mine would say.

Can you imagine, Jesus living the past? Jesus is God... He leaves His throne and glory to come to fallen Earth. The place and those He created together with the Father and Spirit in loving community to emulate His character and reflect His goodness has been poisoned and perverted by sin and is now is in need of savior.

So here He comes! From His heavenly home where everyone knows exactly who He is to an unknown stable, as a helpless baby in a small town, destined to suffer the pain of people telling Him that He wasn't who He said He was, constantly question His gifts and talents, stripping Him of His rights, betrayal and ultimately a criminal's death.

Yes, we know the story doesn't end there... He conquers it ALL and claims His rightful place through His resurrection. He doesn't succumb to the apparent defeat in death! Through His triumph He makes a way for us to share in His eternal victory! He is all that He said He was and more!! He wins! Ha!

But what if Jesus lived in the past? What if He played victim to His unfortunate circumstances? What kind of hope could be offered to those who have suffered in their lifetime? Those rejected? Those abandoned? Those unjustly judged? Those abused? Those betrayed? Those stripped? I'm sure on some level and at some point we can all relate. But the TRUTH is... He didn't!

I'm convinced that part of the journey of becoming fully Christ's and fully me is stopping that replay. Jesus is the PERFECT example of how to live life in the midst of controversy and struggle and not lose who you are no matter what is being said or happening to you. So, that's what I'm going to do with His help. Stop the replay. Stop being afraid of what others might think. Stop questioning who He has made me to be and believe that He ALWAYS knows what is best and has great plans for me as a person and for those things He wants me to be a part of. So be it for all of us!

Lenten Season 2011 - The Invitation

Well, writing once a week was wishful thinking! That idea flew out the window along with 2010! My last entry was in December, 2009! We'll jump over and land in March of 2011... perhaps at some point I'll share the story that is 2010, but not right now.

Right now, I'm more interested in Lent. In this season more so than in any other Lenten season or anytime in the last year, for that matter, I feel a beckoning to "come back", to remember, to purge, to identify with Christ, to be less mine and more His.

I can sense the powerful invitation He's making. I don't know how He does it... call out in the midst of the haze, be Light in the midst of the fog, a reference point in the midst of the maze, finding me in my sometimes apathetic lifestyle, as if you were just meandering, looking down at the ground as you shuffled along and then all of a sudden you can sense, see, hear something drawing you in and you are compelled to respond, even when you don't know how.

It's almost as if the very ignorance of not knowing how to respond feeds the desperation and gives greater hunger to the desire to respond to Him, to seek Him out, to know Him more. He's saying He wants to be found and is making the invitation very plain and the desire of His heart tangible. Ultimately, far from cliché, that desire is relationship.

So, as part of giving somethings up and taking on some disciplines for Lent, I will write some personally pertinent ideas in my Lenten journey here. I'm praying for breakthrough, to be fully Christ's and fully me. To identify with Christ in His freedom, passion, joy, compassion, confidence and power but also walk the road of knowing His pain and suffering to a greater extent - the two go hand in hand. I can't do one without the other. I can no longer not know, it's time to grow up a little bit more, learn my Shepherds voice for real, embrace perfect love and let go of the fear of, "what it might mean to really know Him" (meaning what it will cost me).

Part of that process is to identify, acknowledge, confess, repent, ask for forgiveness and for mercy for those areas of my life which have yet to be surrendered and then, surrender them. It occurred to me that sometimes it is more convenient to resolve to defeat than to surrender as though it were a worthy excuse for not answering the invitation being made. It's not... it's laziness, apathy, fear... however you want to label it, it's not healthy and not getting me anywhere in fulfilling the dreams Papa God has had for me since the beginning.

So enough! I heard the phrase last week, "Your focus needs more focus" (from the new Karate Kid movie... not a bad movie by the way). So true! So may this Lenten season be just that... answering the call, RSVPing my presence to the encounter and growing up to be more and more like my "Big Brother" Jesus with the power of Holy Spirit to help me surrender it all.